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It's been too long since I last posted. I have been a very bad blogger! So, I thought I would come back with a picture story of a cookie monster!              Ok, I ate all the icing. I guess it's time to try the cookie! I know you want an Oreo now.
Go eat one! :)
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Harley knows how to have fun!               Ta Da! So while I have your attention with all this cuteness .... I want to remind you that there are children in this world who are not loved or wanted because they were born with Down syndrome. This boy tugs at my heart strings. Meet Sonny. He is 5 1/2 years old. This sweet little boy should be entering kindergarten, playing with trucks and blocks and being loved by a family! This is a picture taken BEFORE he was transferred to an ADULT MENTAL INSTITUTION!  This is a picture of Sonny now:  After transfer to an ADULT MENTAL INSTITUTION! For more information ... click on his picture above. Please, as you sit there and read this blog, stop and pray for him. This is just WRONG! Pray that his family finds him soon ... before it is too late.
I don’t want to make a bigger deal out of what happened than need be BUT it pushed me to write this blog post. It has been on my mind for awhile but sometimes what sits in my head and heart doesn’t go to paper that easy. Last night my sister and I took the kids to the park to play. It was a great playground … fun stuff for the bigger kids and plenty to keep Harley busy! It was a big adventure for Harley because this is the first spring that he is walking! We walked from the rocking horses to this fun climber that had a bridge and slides! We then walked to these tire creations, then over to the big fort! It was fun. Lots to do, lots of space! He then ventured over by the bigger swings and back around. Harley does not talk yet. He says a couple of words (ball, bottle, book, bedtime (he must like the letter B) .. but over all he does not talk. If Harley wants to get your attention, or is just trying to tell you what he wants or running around having fun, he yells! Short little Ahh, Agg, Arrhh .. points, keeps going..Argghhh, Ughhh, sometimes yells when he wants to go left but I want to go right… He’s loud. I admit. I generally don’t notice but sometimes I do. I didn’t say I care or it bothers me, I just NOTICE it. Which leads to my story … We walked by this set of swings that had 3 girls, probably around 16 years old … and Harley was walking and yelling …..Arrrrggg, Arhhh.. Waving his arms in excitement of it all! Harley had his hood up so you could not see his face. As we walked by, the one girl mimicked Harley. She yelled (grunted) like him. Her friends laughed. I was trying to keep him from the swings and as she did this, he looked over at her. She looked at him and she looked at me. I looked at her. Luckily I had my big sunglasses on to cover my eyes (shock) .. The girl sincerely, said Sorry! I just smiled and walked along. I didn’t hear any laughs or mocking as we walked away. My guess is she didn’t realize Harley had Down syndrome (couldn’t see his face with the hood) but probably after she saw, she realized.… I was thankful for that! Harley doesn’t talk. This is his way of talking for now. He will talk. I am pretty damn sure of this .. but if he doesn’t .. It doesn’t matter. We love him just as he is! So, we kept walking and he swung the swings. He climbed on the balance beam. He kept yelling. Arrggh.. Aggghhh! Some younger kids and their parents looked. Most smiled! Some just looked but honestly, whatever! We circled back to where we started and at this point, the boy was tired! The more tired he is, the more ARGGG, so, we said good night to the park and left … We had fun! A few months back Hayden and I were sitting in the living room with Harley and I just casually said to Hayden “What do you think about Harley?”. And this was the response from his 5 year old brother who loves him and always says how cute he is (and is always very patient and nice to him). Hayden said “He’s cute .. but … he’s.. kind .. of……… CREEPY” (he was afraid to say this but he was being honest). I of course said WHY? He said “cause he yells all the time”. I just responded that it is his way of talking and left it at that … but it made me think … Harley is Harley … He has been part of my life, day after day, for 3 years now. I am used to him and his mannerisms! I honestly most of the time do not notice he is “different”. And when I say different, I don’t mean it derogatory … I am Harley’s BIGGEST fan .. but when placed amongst a group of kids, there are differences. In this case, he yells ARggg, ORRRR, GRRRRR! He plays like other kids, he has fun like other kids, he enjoys the park like other kids, he has feelings like other kids, he plays with toys like other kids, he “talks” like other kids .. but for now , its just not words. My point … Especially for those of you who don’t have the pleasure of loving a child with Down syndrome each day … Don’t be afraid of a child that doesn’t “talk” … don’t stare .. Don’t make fun .. Don’t judge a child that “grunts” or “yells” .. It may SEEM creepy but its NOT! Really! It is NOT! It is their way of expressing themselves! One might assume the inability to talk (be it temporary or not) … means one is not smart or less of a person … NOT TRUE! Just know it’s their form of communication! I challenge you .. the next time you are in this situation … don’t stare. Smile! Say Hi! You just might make someone’s day.. Especially that child’s parent! We tend to shy away or distant ourselves with something unknown (I do understand this) however, they are children and really there is no need to be uneasy! With that … I will close in the words of Harley “ARGGGHH, AHHHHH” Waiving my arms! ( Thanks for listening!!) Debbie :) Ps. Here are some pictures to enjoy!  Argghhh! Im so excited to be here!  This is fun!  Take the picture already so we can burn some rubber!  See Harley, this is how you climb a wall!  Shhhh! They will never find me in here!  Mama, you want a swing?  Still having fun ...  Guess which kid wouldnt smile!! If you guessed the one in the middle, you are RIGHT! But we got you Hayden! Each kindergartner at Our Lady of Angels School has the chance to build a trap to catch a leprechaun! Both Adelay and Scarlet built their trap but I don't think they were able to catch a leprechaun! They offered a nice cozy apartment and plenty of gold and rainbows! No luck! Well, Hayden is in Kindergarten and it was his turn! So, we used Hayden's great idea, Adelay's craftiness and my cracking the whip to get it done! Do you think we have a winner? 
We will let you know if we catch a leprechaun!
 But here it goes! I have hesitated to write this for many reasons, mostly because I don't want my words to deter anyone from saving Preston. This is about him! I want him to have a family to love him! Yes, I want it to be us! (You cant see my tears but they are streaming down my face). But it is not us .. for now! I have to add that "for now" in there so I don't completely lose my mind. I have to say that if a family steps up for Preston, I will support you and your adoption 150% and I will fundraise and do whatever I can! I promise! You have my word! I put on a good game face each day (I think)?! Maybe people can see the pain in my eyes and my heart... I really don't know! I feel it but I know that I need to figure out a way to accept what has happened and be happy! There is maybe 7 minutes out of each day that I get lost in something and I forget and JOY, I remember how it felt to enjoy life!! This is a VERY hard thing to admit.. To myself and to you! I KNOW I have TONS to be happy about . I really do! But for 23 hours, 53 minutes a day, the feeling of failure looms! I fight this battle daily. I am trying to figure this all out! I realized something in all of this ... I think the adoption of Preston failed because I didn't hand it all over to God. I had to have the control. Paul and I had to hand it over to God. We had to trust that he would take care of all of us! I am working on my relationship with God. I am working on a true faith His will. It is hard sometimes! I am human and I want an answer as to why we are here, 2 boys not found, and me feeling like I went backwards! I am working on accepting God's plan .. Which apparently this is! I wont lie, I have prayed to God to make this possible, but instead I need to ask God to help me with HIS plan! Attempt 2: So, I put this in drafts and thought I would wait for another day to say what I feel. Let me explain it this way. Everything makes me think of Preston (Max too)... It just doesn't matter! I spent a year of my life completely dedicated ... I went outside to enjoy this beautiful weather and day ... and though it is just wonderful to see Harley WALKING ( this will be fun summer for him) around and playing .. And the kids playing so nice with the boy from across the street, I couldn't help but think, Preston would be here now.. He should be here now. I immediately get angry and I just feel so lost! I just cant explain this to anyone ... I cant get from A to B .. I can't get past this ... This is my blog and this is what I want to post. I want everyone to understand this whole adoption was real to me! I WANTED it to happen. I unfortunately have little control right now as to my life circumstances! It makes me feel like a complete failure and therefore, it makes my days very hard! There are some people who I don't talk to anymore (???).. not sure if its that I disappointed them, if they blame me.. not sure! There are some people who never have mentioned it to me again .. There are some people who just plain don' t care! Well, honestly, you can sit there and judge me but you have no idea the pain I feel in my heart on a daily basis.... you dont know me... you dont get it and you never will! I have in my heart dreamed up every way to change what has happened! I wake up in the morning.. my drive to work .. my day.. my night.. I think about it... Preston matters to ME! He is a little boy that desperately needs a family! He will be locked away in some institution for the rest of his life is someone doesn't save him. Imagine the guilt ... the sickness just from knowing this ... Imagine knowing that no matter what you do, it cant be different .. atleast now. I am not writing this blog because I want sympathy! Really I am not! I just need to let this out. I share Preston's page almost daily on Facebook .. I pray for him .. I give up stuff so I can keep donating to his grant .. but NONE of it seems like it is enough ... I failed... I need to fix my broken heart before it breaks me.... I look at my kids and I love them so much ... maybe, just maybe this is why this is so hard .. I love Preston as well. I just felt like I needed to explain this all to you ... I want you all to understand ...   If it means something to you ... Please say a prayer that he finds a family ... soon! If you are able, make a donation to his grant. Sometimes money is the major factor for people when deciding on adopting. And share his page on facebook. Click on his picture to go to his page on Reece's Rainbow. Thanks for listening. Debbie  Harley has the honor of being part of a wonderful group of people ... volunteers, families, children on Saturday afternoons for 8 weeks! This organization is just wonderful and the volunteers are very dedicated people! Thank you Young Athletes! Today was soccer day! A group of girls volunteered from a soccer team to come and help the athletes! They did a wonderful job! Harley's helper was terrific! What a great time! Here are some pictures! Enjoy!  Ready to Rumble  Mom, will you stop taking pictures and let's go!  Is there a Harley under that Harley hat?  Warming up  So I have to get the ball in the net? No problem!  Goal!  Time for a pose!  Kick it  How am I suppose to get the ball in if you stand in my way?  I'm having so much fun!  Walking the track!  More goals ...  The group! Harley is in the middle sitting in his helpers lap.. see him?  Buddies! (Doesnt she look a lot like Scarlet?) She was a SWEETHEART!  I earned my medal!  Daddy and Harley  Click on the picture to visit their website. Great job guys! You deserve a medal too! We had a nice visit with Papa and Sharon and my Mom ... Thought it would be nice to share some pictures! 
Sharon always has a beautiful bouquet of flowers!
The kid table
Hayden
View out back window - Westwood Country Club Golf Course
Puzzle Time
Rock n Roll
Sharon and Mom
The boys
The spread!
Hayden asked Sharon for some whip cream!
Eating like a big boy!
Sharon said she was never allowed to do this as a kid so she wants the kids to be able to !
Yummy!
Papa joined in puzzle time!
Cheeze heads!
Hmmm, I wonder what he is looking at?
Harley wont let me sit down!
I finally got the chair!
I love the look on Harley's face !
This is always lots of fun ... turning lights off and on.. off and on.. off and on.. off and on.. etc, etc, etc!
You get ONE chance on the last pieces!
Ta Da!
Proud Grandparents Proud Grandkids
I think Harley is ready for a nap!
I will watch the ceiling fan... I will NOT fall asleep!
zzzzzz
Thank you for the wonderful brunch! We had a wonderful time!
In honor of World Down Syndrome Day, which is March 21st, I wanted to share some bits and pieces of Harley's life over the next couple of weeks. Harley is just like any other 3 year old! He goes to Little Gym! He does somersaults! He swings on the bars! He walks the balance beams! He plays with balls! He pops the bubbles! He is just like any other kid! And its cool because I think Harley sets a great example in class for the other children AND parents! Everyone knows Harley and I think if they don't know a child with Down syndrome, the families walk away with a positive picture! Our Harley! :) 
Let me in! I LOVE LITTLE GYM!
Scarlet LOVED being able to do this in the gym because I wont let her carry him like this at home! Yes, Harley has a huge gash on his forehead and I have NO idea how it got there! Hmmmm! The only thing I can think is I scratched him with my ring getting him out of his crib in the morning????
Jump! Jump! This he needs to work on! His whittle feet don't leave the mat without a little help!
Boing... Boing... Boing!
Future Olympian!
I can climb any mountain!
Here I go!
Great balance Harley!
They will never find me!
No time for the hot tub... got to move!
Mommy helps me walk the balance beam!
I can do somersaults (with a little help).
I can swing on the bars!
I love bubbles!
It just goes to show that if you give something a chance and you mix in a little help from God, things work out! Harley has entered his 3rd week of preschool. As many of you know, the bus was a huge issue for me. I just couldn't put him on a bus each day ... my issue but just couldn't digest that! God knew and he intervened! Our babysitters husband offered to take Harley to and from school and I cant thank Glenn enough! Glenn is EXTREMELY proud of Harley and doesn't mind when someone confuses him for his Dad or Grandpa! So Glenn, THANK YOU! I LOVE his teacher! Absolutely love her! The teacher's aid is GREAT too! and he has the sweetest group of kids in his class! 7 including Harley. It's especially cute how the girls "mama" him! I was lucky enough to be able to take Harley to and from school today! It's amazing how many people stop and smile at him and he waves to everybody!!! One of the little boys in his class was waving bye and saying bye Harley as we walked down the hallway ... one of the teachers stopped to blow kisses! I love it! Oh, and did I mention he has Yoga on Wednesdays! Yes! he does (boy I wish I could sneak in and take a few pictures! Maybe his teacher will do me the honor!) So, things are going well and Im just going to take one day at time! Here are some more pictures to enjoy!  Harley does not have to wear the "uniform" but I like to dress him in one!  Heading to school ( Is it me or do you think Harley and Preston look like they ARE brothers ... (tears) )  Its a beautiful day in Cleveland OH  Walking into school! (I asked him to turn around and he purposely stood there and would not look)  Ok Mom, I'll smile for you!  Harley's Locker!  He found his locker!  Put his name on the board!  This is the mural on the outside of the school.  When I picked him up he was enjoying his snack!  Harley has backpack on and ready to go!  Bye bye school.  All done!  Big man on campus!  Im ready to go home!  I had to take this! I was unbuckling him and this was just too cute to not take! 5 minutes in the car!!  Have a nice nap Harley! Each day the teacher sends home a progress report! Its great to be part of his day even when I cant! His teacher said that she read a story to the class and in one part she pretended to cry. She said that Harley crawled up into her lap, put his head on her shoulder and patted her back to say.. Its ok! She commented that she must be a great actress :) Here are some of what Harley has done in school:    I had to take a picture (sorry for the darkness) but it says in comments: Harley looks so handsome in his uniform! I will keep this short and sweet ! Happy Valentine's Day! Which is also Paul and my wedding anniversary (12 years) .. which also was my original due date for Harley! 
The Loveasaurus wishes everyone a Happy Valentine Day ESPECIALLY Miss Bella !
Hayden said girls are too scary to wish a Happy Valentines to, so he proceeded to wish all the boys in his class a Happy Valentines Day :)
The reason Paul feels the need to own so many guns!
Happy Valentines Day from the crew! (dont mind Hayden taking a bite from his poptart!)
Smallest to Biggest...
Thank you Becky and Glenn for our delicious Valentine Anniversary Dinner!
and dessert!
Look what Hayden made!
Hayden was busy... he also made this!
Scarlet made this beautiful creation!
12 years ago this is where Paul and I were married!
Wow! 12 years! and we only knew each other for 6 months before we decided to get married!
and some cuteness from this morning!
Look what I did!
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My Children
My husband Paul
Me
AuthorI am the Mother of 4 wonderful children. My youngest son was born with Down syndrome and he opened my eyes to a whole new world. I have been lead to advocate for orphans with special needs all over the world. I would love to adopt but until then, I will shout for these children as loud as I can! Click here for more information: 
Preston - he was almost mine. We were unable to proceed with his adoption. Because he is located in a country that has banned US adoptions, Preston waits. Please pray for his health and happiness. Pray for hearts to change and the ban be lifted.
We will always love you Max and never forget you!
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